I see you tonight as the moon rises and the world settles down to sleep. I see you lying ever so quiet in your most comfortable spot, trying to be just that… comfortable. But for many, the comfort does not come and neither will sleep. The fire within our body ramps up as the moon climbs higher into the sky. It seems like night time is always the worst.
I hear the words you want to scream and the pleas that will never leave your lips. You don’t want anything exceptional, just a few hours of respite from the beast. Your body needs rest and your mind needs peace from wearing the heavy mask of hiding the pain day after day.
I hear you dear Warrior as you cry silently into your pillow, willing the fire to burn out. I hear the tears you do not cry as they also sit heavily on my own heart. The tears aren’t those of the weak but those who fight to survive every moment. They are tears of strength. Tears of War. Tears of triumph.
I feel you, such a brave & courageous soul. When my own body revolts against me, I close my eyes and remember that you are somewhere out there and that I am not alone in my pain. And you my friend are not alone either. It is not the pain or the destruction of the disease that brings us together. It is the resiliency, the strength and the perseverance that ties us to one another.
I admire your grace and you continue to inspire me to keep going, to keep fighting. Every. Single. Day. You remind me that the pain is ruthless but that it is more importantly, temporary. For even a flare will burn out. Keep throwing punches knowing that your nerves will calm and your body will once again be able to breathe. You will be able to move again, be you and open your heart for laughter. Hold on to those moments my dear friend. Hold on to sunny days, the laughter & the love for these are the things that will guide you through even the darkest night and the cruelest flare.
Remember my friend that you cannot drown because you have learned how to swim. Even though you are tired from fighting battles no one knows anything about, know this; You are a warrior. You are loved. You matter. And most importantly You are not your pain. You are something so much more and so much bigger than this disease. Keep fighting.
As always, Much Metta,