Today I am trying to focus on the things that are going well instead of living in fear of tomorrow. Science tells us that when we remember our gratitude, we begin to build new highways for our thoughts and we overcome fear & negative thinking. Today I spent time in Meditation for this reason. It is a reality that many of my fears may come true but the anxiety is not serving any helpful purpose in my life. My fears were contributing to my pain, they were activating my Sympathetic Nervous System and my nerves begin to misfire incorrect pain signals. My body jerks and twitches and pressure builds up in my lower back.
This is my body’s unique reaction. I know this because I have spent the last year studying Meditation and implementing the mindfulness practice into my life. I am very sensitive to my body and aware of how many things impact me. For the most part, I meditate every day. When I am having days like today, I meditate for hours. Meditation provides a comfort to me that no pain medication can reach. It makes me feel like I am floating. And for that time, if I am lucky, I can get to a place where the pain fades away and my body becomes weightless. I am planning to write more in depth about Meditation this weekend for the Blog and start a Mindful Monday Entry on how mindful goals to adopt for the week. But for today, I want to express my gratitude.
This week I am grateful for:
- Those of you who have supported me through text, email, messages, phone calls, reading my words and who have offered their company
- My coworkers, Today they sent this beautiful bouquet of flowers to my door. I spent the afternoon, literally smelling the flowers’ sweet fragrance from my bed
- My Bali Man, Yudhi. He takes care of me ya’ll. He cooks me breakfast and dinner, packs my lunch when I work and makes sure I have everything that I need. I cannot say enough about this kind man. I am truly blessed
- My father. My dad has sent me messages throughout the day checking up on me. He drove me the long distance to take me to the doctor for my Sympathetic Nerve Block. He pushes my wheelchair and is patient with me, when I become irritable because of the pain.
- My dogs. Abe and Ray have not left my side since I came home. They know I do not feel good and they are my comfort. Both boys know when I am crying and break through any baby gate to get to me. They also serenade me with their gas. Love toots .
- My A/C. Many of you may laugh, but in the caribbean I never had A/C and the one place I lived that I did have in my room, it was too expensive. So I could never just lay around and relax- it was too hot. Now, I jack the A/c down to 64. Yes 64… I am making for missed time!
- Therapy Pool 3 minutes from my house! Today I went to the therapy pool and floated. I am grateful this is only 3 minutes from me. It is nice to be weightless and float
- My cable TV. So, honestly I love the Kardashians. And Rich Kids. You know why? No one has pain. No one talks about pain and their problems are comical. Love E! TV.
- SnapChat, Keep posting ya’ll. The videos keep me laughing
- My friend Genevieve, She has been there for every moment of fear this week including the ER to guide me through what needed to be done. She also has CRPS and because of my friendship with her, I don’t feel alone. Somebody understands me and my journey. We also laugh about life and have a connection that I don’t have with many people
- This blog, this blog has helped me in so many ways. Writing is therapy for me
- I was able to do a tiny bit of physical therapy today
- My Betta Fish. Sounds silly but these silly fish have personality & they crack me up while they sleep in their “Betta hammocks” that I impulse bought on amazon…
- That my injection went well and we are now in a series of 5 injections to break my pain cycle
- The Nurse in Winchester, who always helps me & treats me like a person
- My meditation practice & Tara Brach Podcast
- And did I mention my flowers??? haha 🙂
- Of course, the moments I am able to laugh
I hope that this weekend you find the little things you are grateful for